


What's a World Without Bucky Barnes?

by can_i_slytherin



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Fix-It, M/M, Not Canon Compliant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-04
Updated: 2019-05-04
Packaged: 2020-02-23 19:48:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18708814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/can_i_slytherin/pseuds/can_i_slytherin
Summary: I think it's safe to say that people are pissed about that ending, and there have already been many rewrites; this is one of them.This was written in about two hours, so be kind.**SPOILERS FOR ENDGAME!!!!!**





	What's a World Without Bucky Barnes?

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first work in this Fandom so the characters may be a little ooc.  
> Please let me know what you think in the comments, I love feedback :)  
> I hope you like it :)

“I’m going to stay.” Steve’s voice was so quiet, barely above a whisper, and, if Bucky hadn’t been concentrating, he wouldn’t have heard it.

  
They were lounging on the bed in the guest room at Tony’s, well, Pepper’s, house, talking about anything and everything that came to mind.

  
Bucky already knew the answer, but he had to ask: “Where?”

  
“1970, with Peggy.”

  
There was a deep inhale. A heartbeat. Barely a second between Steve’s response and Bucky’s reaction. He was up and off the bed in a flash, pacing around the room, pulling at his hair and muttering to himself. Suddenly, he turned on Steve with wild grey eyes and a hard, set jaw.

  
“So, let me get this right, you’re going to go back to 1970 and stay there. With Peggy.” Bucky questioned slowly, a dangerous tone to his voice.

  
“Yeah....” Steve looked down at his lap, playing with a loose thread on the cuff of his jeans.

  
“You stupid goddamn punk!” Bucky exclaimed, “After everything we’ve lost, after everything we’ve gone through, you’re just gonna go and stay with _her_.”

  
“Buck-“ Steve tried to interject, to explain himself but Bucky narrowed his eyes into a cold glare.

  
“No, Steve. You don’t get it. You really don’t understand.” Bucky muttered, his voice low and venomous.

  
Steve jumped up and stood in front of Bucky, grabbing onto his shoulders to cease his pacing, “So, help me to understand, Buck. Help me.”

  
“You... She...” Bucky cut himself off with a frustrated growl before he pinched the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath to calm himself. Steve, ever the sweetheart, waited patiently and gently traced the metal plates of Bucky’s bionic arm.

  
“I can’t.” Bucky shied away and pulled himself from Steve’s grip, “Not right now. I need time.”

  
With that, Bucky turned and practically ran from the room, the gentle thud of his boots growing quieter as the distance between him and the room got bigger. He ran, with no destination in mind, and dropped to his knees when he reached the lake- the same lake that they had used for Tony’s send off.

Tears gathered in his eyes and he stated down at his reflection in the lake, wondering to himself where he went wrong and what set him apart from Peggy- why would Steve choose her? Why not him?

  
Bucky knew the answer: she could give Steve everything that he couldn’t. A family. A stable, healthy relationship. The perfect apple pie life, married with the average 2.5 kids, a dog and a white picket fence. Who was Bucky to deny him that chance?

  
He was broken from his thoughts by a blanket being draped over his shoulders, he smiled softly and pulled it tighter around himself.

  
“You left without a coat. I thought that you might get cold, so I brought you a blanket.” Steve voice was soft and tentative, almost as if he was approaching a wild animal rather than his best friend of 90 plus years. He shifted awkwardly from one foot to the other and Bucky took pity on him- as he always did.

  
“Sit down, Steve. But, don’t say a word. I need to tell you something, but if you talk I’ll lose the courage. So, just hang on.” Bucky stared ahead at the treeline across the lake and took a deep, sobering breath, “I loved you before she did, Steve. From when you were a six-year-old asthmatic punk getting into fights with 8th graders to the day I fell from the train and after that. When Hydra found me, I tucked my memories of you, of us, away in the deepest part of my mind so that they couldn’t take them. Those memories were what kept me sane, and safe and what brought me back from the darkest moments. When I was alone, after a mission, or when I was recovering, I’d think of you and our time together before the fall and feel a little less alone. I loved you for the 90 years that hydra had me and I’ll love you for another 90 more. I loved you in 1945, when it was illegal, and I love you now in 2023, when it’s the exact opposite. Steve, I may not be able to give you the perfect apple pie life that you desire, but I can assure you that I will never stop loving you.”

  
Bucky swiped at the tears that had began to fall and pulled the blanket even tighter around himself- it acting more as shield against emotion rather than the temperature.

  
“Buck...” Steve reached out with a tentative hand and tucked his fingers under Bucky’s chin, forcing him to look up, “Why now? Why did you wait so long to tell me?”

  
“Stevie, you stupid punk. It was _illegal_. I could have been arrested, or killed for loving a man. That’s why I didn’t say anything. You’ve been so hung up about Peggy that I figured you could never feel the same, so what’s the point? I’m telling you now, because come tomorrow I’ll never see you again and i want you to know that I will always love you: serum or no serum, shield or no shield, as a punk from Brooklyn getting into fights with people twice his size and as Captain America fighting aliens from outer space. I love you Steven Grant Rogers, forever and always- without a shadow of a doubt and with every fibre of my being.”

  
They were silent for a few moments before Bucky spoke again, “Stay, Steve. Stay here, with me. Please.”

  
“Bucky... I...”

  
“Can’t? It’s okay, I understand. She had you from the get go. Go to her, Steve. Live that life for the both of us but never forget that I love you.” Bucky stood up and walked off, leaving the blanket pooled beside Steve.

  
Steve sat by the lake for hours, mulling things over and where he was supposed to go with the knowledge that Bucky loved him- how could he stay with Peggy after the mind-boggling revelation that _James Buchanan Barnes_ , ladies’ man, loved him?  
Within those few hours, he made a decision and he was going to stick by it- the rest of the world be damned.

  
***~*~*~*~**

  
“Don’t do anything stupid until I get back.” Steve whispered as he stepped in front of Bucky.

  
The man in question gave a small, half-smile and shook his head, “How can I? You’re taking all the stupid with you.”

  
“I’m gonna miss you, Buck.” Steve replied and his heart clenched as Bucky’s face dropped. He had made a decision and it was a hard one, but it had been made. Steve turned his back and picked up the briefcase as well as mjolnir before stepping up onto the platform.

  
“Okay. We'll meet you back here in five.” Bruce flicked a few switches and pushed a few buttons on the control panel before looking up at Steve.

  
“Sure will.” Steve replied and flinched slightly as his mask came down over his face. He disappeared into the quantum realm and navigated his way through the eras, returning the stones to their original points in time. He had saved the tesseract for last, hoping that he’d be able to catch Peggy in her office.  
He was spat out of the quantum realm in 1970 and he returned the tesseract to its cabinet before finding his way through the halls of the shield facility. He ended up in Peggy’s office, just as he had the last time, but this time she was sat behind her desk.

  
She looked up as Steve pushed the door open and her jaw dropped when she laid eyes on the star-spangled man. She stood up, making her way around to the front of the desk, and held a hand up to her heart.

  
“Steve?” She whispered, eyes filled with tears and reached out with a shaky hand, silently questioning if he was really there.

  
“Yeah, it’s me.” Before he could blink, Steve was greeted with an armful of a very emotional Peggy Carter.

  
“You better start talking, Rogers.” She demanded, jabbing him threateningly in the chest.

  
Steve sat down on the sofa, Peggy adjacent to him, and launched into a re-telling of the years from when he came out of the ice in 2010 to when they defeated Thanos (for the second time) in 2023- including Bucky’s recent confession and his worries about whether to stay in 1970 or return to 2023.

  
“Steve,” Peggy took Steve’s hand in her own and gave him a gentle, knowing smile, “I was on comms when Bucky fell from the train. Your scream was blood-curdling and your sobs were heartbreaking. You couldn’t move on, Steve. For weeks afterwards, you were heartbroken and I knew then that Bucky Barnes had your heart- whether you knew it or not. The thing is that you lived and survived in a world without Peggy Carter but you couldn’t live in a world without Bucky Barnes. Knowing that he’s back in 2023, patiently waiting for you to come home and love him. Knowing that he’s ready to love you, can you live in a time where you don’t have that? Where you don’t have _your_ Bucky?”

  
“No, I can’t.” Steve replied within a single heartbeat and the breath was stolen from his lungs, “Shit. I love him.”

  
“Go home, Steve. Go back to Bucky. Love him with everything you have and live a happy life. If you’re happy, then I’ll be happy.” Peggy explained and looked down at the small button on the back of Steve’s hand, “I’m taking the option out of your hands, Steve. You’re going back to Bucky. You’re going home.”

  
She pushed the button as the alarm began to blare and, with a small smile, waved goodbye to Steve as he disappeared into the quantum realm and back to 2023. Back home. Back to _Bucky_.

  
***~*~*~*~**

  
Bucky watched, with bated breath, as Steve disappeared from the platform and waited as Bruce counted back from five.

  
It was the longest five seconds that Bucky had ever experienced and he hoped that Steve would come home to him. He _needed_ Steve to choose him because he didn’t know how he could continue living if he didn’t.

  
“Returning in 5, 4, 3, 2 and 1!” Bruce flicked a switch and a wave of energy spread across the platform; Steve was stood there, a bright grin spread across his face.

  
Bucky let out a breath of relief and rushed over to the platform, grabbing Steve in a bone-crushing hug, “You came back. You came home.”

  
“Home is where the heart is.” Steve whispered into Bucky’s ear and the man in question recoiled in shock, pulling away to stare into Steve’s bright blue orbs.

  
“Does that mean...?” Bucky could barely finish his sentence before Steve captured Bucky’s lips in a searing kiss.

  
He pulled away, breathless and glassy-eyed and rested his forehead against Bucky’s, a wide grin splitting his face in two, “If you promise to love me, I promise to love you.”

  
“I promise.” Bucky whispered, “Thank you, Stevie, for coming home.”

  
“What’s a world without Bucky Barnes?” Steve retorted.

  
“The same as a world without Steve Rogers.”  
Steve was glad that he had decided to come home because, after all, he couldn’t live in a world without _his Bucky_.


End file.
